Infertility Hurts

But what hurts the most is having someone turn their back on you to become better friends with other women who have children. I have always understood that thing would have had to change once a baby came into the picture. I just never counted on being dropped as a friend. I have been struggling to tell my self that it wasn't meant for us to be friends. Honestly, I've never understood how we are even friends. I've had a lot of heartache and difficulty with this particular friend. She is very juvenile. Still, I thought I could count on her and she hurt me. I finally admitted that I have a lot of trouble relating to women. I think it has to do with the possibility that they could become pregnant. I feel so disconnected because of my condition. Being a mother was something I've always wanted, and I am devestated by it. I am so worried that we won't ever get approved for foster/adoption. That would mean that we would never be parents. It makes it worse know that his mother is expecting granchildren from him. She wants him to be a father. I am so afraid that if we can't get a child that she will try to persuade him to leave me so he can have a child. I trust that Shane never would leave me becuase of this. I would just be uncomfortable around his mother. I hope that I'll feel better by getting this out of system.