Lots of good things in store!!!

Well hello there! It has been quite a while since my last post. I feel terrible about what I posted....I really was just emotional and distrought. I try very hard to not let my emotions spill over into my on-line life....but being emotional is a part of who I am (I don't know if it is from being a Scorpio or a woman with TS). Now for the great things that will be happening in my life! I am a little less than a week away from going back to school to begin my SENIOR year! I never thought that I'd find myself back in a classroom at 30 years old, but it has been one of the best things I have ever done! It was a little intimidating at first, being that I was about 10 years older than most of the other students in my classes. But the best thing is that they accept me for who I am and sometimes will ask for advice! I LOVE being able to be that person for them!! This will be a busy semester for me. Most of my classes will include reading a lot of material. It scares me a little, but I can do it! Plus, Shane and my mother assure me that it will be a great practice run for what is to come when I move on to my next phase of education and working towards my goal of becoming a college professor. I am also having to include studying and taking the GRE this semester. Looks like my TV will be lonely this time around LOL!! Well, except on Thursday nights.....I HAVE to watch Glee!! But that is the ONLY indugence I will allow myself. It is time for that @$$ kicking I should have given myself in my first semester back. If anyone has any study/paper writing/not procrastinating tips I would greatly appreciate them in my comment section! There is one more EXCITING thing coming my way....but nothing is offical yet....Lets just say Oct 5th, 2013 will be a VERY happy day for me! Love to you all and thanks for reading!!

Infertility Hurts

But what hurts the most is having someone turn their back on you to become better friends with other women who have children. I have always understood that thing would have had to change once a baby came into the picture. I just never counted on being dropped as a friend. I have been struggling to tell my self that it wasn't meant for us to be friends. Honestly, I've never understood how we are even friends. I've had a lot of heartache and difficulty with this particular friend. She is very juvenile. Still, I thought I could count on her and she hurt me. I finally admitted that I have a lot of trouble relating to women. I think it has to do with the possibility that they could become pregnant. I feel so disconnected because of my condition. Being a mother was something I've always wanted, and I am devestated by it. I am so worried that we won't ever get approved for foster/adoption. That would mean that we would never be parents. It makes it worse know that his mother is expecting granchildren from him. She wants him to be a father. I am so afraid that if we can't get a child that she will try to persuade him to leave me so he can have a child. I trust that Shane never would leave me becuase of this. I would just be uncomfortable around his mother. I hope that I'll feel better by getting this out of system.

Just Crazy Old Me :-)

The first thing you ought to know about me is...I am a survivor. When my mother was four months pregnant, her body began to fight me. Like so many other baby girls who are diagnosed with Turner's Syndrome my mother was on the verge of having a miscarriage. I persevered and was born just a few weeks early. I was not conicidered premature, but I was so tiny that I had to wear premie clothes and diapers. When I was 9, I was officially diagnosed with Turner's. It was explained to us that I am missing one of my "X" chromosomes. (You will have to forgive my bluntness as I explain the next little bit.) I do not have enough horomones. I wouldn't start my eriod on my own and I wouldn't make it above 4'10" without growth horomone injections. (I have made it to 5'2" which is really tall appearently!). The hardest part to learn is that I am sterile. I won't ever be able to conceive. I have to stop right here and admit that I do get extreamly jealous of pregnant women and I have shed many tears over this. It is not that I am unable to be happy for them, because I truely am. I am more sad for myself over losing out on this precious experience. Having said all of that, I am truely blessed. I don't have any of the physical deformities (except for the lazy eye and shield shaped chest). I do have a bi-cuspid aortic valve (this caused a heart murmur) and coarctation of the aorta. I have a horseshew kidney (my kidneys are connected) and my hands and feet tend to swell. I am also learning disabled in math (numbers and I don't get along!). Other than that I am a normal 30 year old woman. I am in love with my sweet boyfriend of 8 years. I am the proud pet parent of 2 dogs and 2 cats! They are my life! I am very close to my family and friends. I love everyone of them dearly! I am a full-time student working on a double degree in History and English (with a focus on literature). I plan on attending grad school and hope to become a professor of medieval history! I am a voracious reader. I don't just read books---I devour them! I am obssessed with Harry Potter. I will read anything. My favorite genres are young adult, paranormal romance and historical fiction (Phlippa Gregory is AMAZING!). I am very much in to popular culture. I watch a lot of T.V. My favorite shows are gLee, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, Law and Order: Criminal Intent and the original Law and Order. I also enjoy CSI,CSI:NY, NYC 22 and Blue Bloods. I'm into reality T.V. as well. I watch Suvivor, The Amazing Race, Big Brother and The Glee Project. Netflix is my best friend! I love to listen to music and my favorite genre is pop. My favorite foods are pizza, Mexican and Italian. I also love a good steak! I enjoy going out to eat with Shane and Ali. I hope that you all have enjoyed getting to know me. I'd love to read your comments and thoughts on my posts!